Dear xxx, I was never a believer of monogamy. Hated morals, social norms and the masses notion of true love. Now, you just waltz into my life and reduced me into this infatuated, starry doe eyed cunt.

Tin Tin

Just then, he leans forward with his lips brushing against my ear, he whispers, " I might just steal you. " I look straight into this olive eyes, not knowing what to say, I smile and bite on my lower lip. He leans forward again and I look away this time.

" Look girl, I really like you.. " He paused, stroking my hair, holding me closer and closer to him but before I let him get to the moment, I threw my head back and laughed. I then asked him " So as you were saying?"

"And I am really jealous of that boyfriend of yours baby. "

I look to the side of the road.

" So this is when you put me into a taxi and I will text you saying how much I enjoyed tonight."

" Are we going to see each other again?"

I nod my head.

I can't take this anymore

I'm willing to put my conscience on hold, so that in this pitch dark of night, I'll reach out and not feel an empty space beside me. I'll shut that voice that sings of the truth, so as the sun rises and invades my bedroom, I can turn and say " Isn't this a beautiful morning?" and hear you reply.

But it doesn't happen. I switch my cellphone off and drown myself in stale tea and cigarettes. I wallow in self-pity. Why must this night be so endless? Why must the morning sun be so blinding?

Too many times I walk through the door and ask myself "Why hasn't the party ended?" I don't want the bubly. I don't need the boys. Tequila doesn't make my problems go away. It makes me cry, makes my mascara run, makes me get fucked by blokes I don't like or in that case ever grow to like.

So what if they're hot? They take advantage of this vulnerable me. The emotional me. The me that happens after 7 shots. Pull my skirt up and feel my legs, how their touch disgust me. I wish they would just leave, leave me alone.