"Vodka soda please."

Hmmm. I didn't react for awhile. He gave me a frown. Like he was waiting for me to say something. Oh now I remember...

" You look familiar. You were here last night weren't you."

" Yeah." He smiles.

I didn't really talk much with him until much later. Maybe until I eased up after a couple of glasses of champange from the 2 bottles of moet he ordered.

" Wanna go for a smoke?"

" Sure." He got off the bar stool almost immediatly.

Both of us, sitting on an orange ice box outside the bar smoking, looking at the cars passing by, I start swinging my legs.

" Hey, I got something for you." He puts into his hand into his right pocket and digs for it.

" Here." He places it on my belly. " Don't look at it now."

I ignore him and unfold the slightly crushed paper with messy scribbles all over. I turn to the next side and ah ha !

" Ignore the other side of the this. I just wanted to say hi and thank you for being so smiley + happy. Please look me up.. even if you don't, drop me a line :) You are so sweet and from the first time I saw you yesterday I fell in love with your smile. xxx "

" Can't believe you just read that infront of me. And I had to write that in the loo. Couldn't get that Pakistani guy off my back."

" You make me feel like I'm back in high school....." I gave him a nudge and both of us laugh.

" Will you call me?"

"I don't know actually." I look away and take another drag off my cigarette.

I can never blog the same way knowing that Goldilocks keeps a link of my blog. I feel like he has stolen a part of me.

Today he got on the train without me.

I tried my best but I took the wrong street and still got lost along the way. When I reached the train station slightly later then expected, I ran around trying to search for him, I knew he would be mad and I didn't want to fight. All I had infront of me was the sea of unfamiliar faces looking back at me, where are you? I picked up my cell phone and called him. He told me he left and that I could catch the next train to him or make my own plans, then he hung up. I fall to the ground and cry. I never felt so lost, so abandoned before. The person next to me asked me if I was okay and I said no, I'm not okay.

I miss being under the showers with you, the heat fogging up the mirrors, I feel warm both inside out. You take me in your arms and you tell me to wait it out, that it'll all end soon, you said you really love me and need me in your life. I forgive you and I love you too but the last time you told me this was in Decemeber and it's May now.

An IM window pops up on my screen. It's Goldilocks. What a surprise.

"London, Barcelona, Sweden, Milan, Madrid, Florence or Rome?"

Hmmm.. As tempted as I was to just randomly pick one, I decided against it. After a hard 2 minutes of mental debating and testing myself on whatever knowledge I had on the countries, I picked two instead.

" Barcelona or Rome? "

" Well, apart from these two cause I have already been there. I was thinking London or Sweden actually. What do you think?"

Well, fuck you.

London or Sweden? I wouldn't have minded on going to either but why ask me to chose and then tell me to pick something else? In that case, I don't want to go to London or Sweden. Just.

" GBP is three times my currency so I might as well be prepared to be depressed since I will either keep thinking of shop lifting or live rather miserably because I cannot afford anything. I've been there as a child. Don't remember being very impressed. "

"Sweden?"

"Sweden sounds boring. What do they have? Meatballs... Blonde chicks big tits. Not my thing."

I am not pleased. I want to go to anywhere but Sweden or London. I have decided that since he has irritated me, I shall just insist on going to Barcelona or Rome. Then again, Milan sounds nice. Not going to mention that today until he apologizes.

"I haven't been to those 2 places and I really want to go there."

"I want to go to France."

"Hate France, been there. You wouldn't like it."

At this point, I stop replying.

"What is wrong with you?"

Something wrong with me??? Are you kidding? Nothing is wrong. Nothing really... Apart from the fact that you asked ME to chose and happily over-write my choice. This is not the first time! Why is it always about you? Pffft!

What is wrong with you?!?!