Okay, break ups are bad. We all know that one. How bad is bad? I never truly understood when people went on and on about "pain" and "suffering" after break ups. I just chose to avoid all that by packing my bags and moving to a new city almost immediatly and also not remaining sober.
All that sadistic feelings people talked about, today, it hit me.
It's been 6 months. I have dated other people. I also went through the mandatory "slutty phase" and drunkenly fucked strangers for weeks on end. I moved to a new city, made new friends, changed my hair and adopted a puppy.
I am back home for a visit and I still live at my old place. I never bothered doing the post-break-upspring-clean. So looking at it is now, it was like he never left really. His office keys on the table, clothes in the drawer, our portrait hanging on the wall. I still find myself sleeping on my side and putting the cat on his. I was just used to it and I was happy having things like this.
Okay whatever it is, for whatever reason when I was in the room, I found myself crying.
And I couldn't stop crying. 1 box of kleenex later, I was still sobbing. What the fuck? Is this what people have been trying to tell me? Is this what break ups feel like?
This snowball of emotions just ran me over. God, to think I thought I had ran far enough from it! Fuck! What happens next? How do we make this stop?
